THE AIRCRAFT THAT NEVER CRASHED

"We are cruising at 36000 Feet above sea level! The outside temperature is -40 degree centigrade... ". The captain was doing his regulatory announcement over the intercom. His voice sounded warm, reassuring & confident. In spite of this, I was perspiring, the mouth was dry, and anxiety had led to curled hands & feet. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink. The mind was alert to every slight shake, movement & noise. It flashed horrific memories of fireballs & people dying. Staring at the headrest of the front seat, I was constantly praying for it to get over. When the aircraft landed, I was already tired with the stress & anxiety. The relief at touching the ground came with the reminder that I had to return. The “fear of flying” was taking its toll.

I suffered from this fear for three dreadful years. As I look back now, those were the years I had to undertake maximum amount of air travel. I had to travel almost 15 to 20 days in a month which meant taking between 10 to 12 flight journeys. I was on a flight every third day. I was an entrepreneur running an upcoming business - which meant there was no way of avoiding these journeys - though sometimes it was done at great cost. The journey plan was made at the beginning of the month and the pangs of anxiety would start thereon.

Catching an early evening flight, I would reach the hotel tired & beat. The next couple of days would involve a 10 hour work schedule - conducting a study, training or audit at the dealership of our client. The fact that I would have to catch a flight to reach my next destination lent itself to great anxiety & stress. And then the repeat would occur - sitting on a flight! Life became a cycle of fear - anxiety - fear.



During these three years, I visited more than 27 different locations within & outside India. As a person who loves to explore different places & cuisines, I had a god sent opportunity. Unfortunately, I don’t remember exploring a single place. I used to be confined to work or the hotel room - trying to distract myself from the stress & anxiety.

Being a frequent flier, the airlines had awarded me a Platinum membership - I was frequently upgraded to Business class & had access to special privileges and lounges. Some of the flight crews knew me by my first name & used to go out of their way to make me feel comfortable (they probably could see it on my face). I also don’t remember enjoying any of this. The fear & anxiety was so overwhelming.

Most of my friends & family members were impressed with my travel schedule. They thought I had arrived in life - what with flying everywhere almost every third day. "You must be important if someone is spending so much money just to get you around" they would say. If only they knew...

I don’t know whether it was the fatigue or some hidden courage but one fine evening sitting in a semi dark hotel room, half watching a vague program on TV, I decided enough was enough & I had to end this fear. Suddenly there was great determination. But I was not sure how to proceed - the things to do to end "FEAR". The objective was "I want to enjoy flying!” But determination has a way of showing you the way (where there’s a will.... it actually is true).

I landed on Google & spent the next four hours on the subject "Fear of Flying". I learnt that there are millions of people around the world who suffered from this. It was comforting to know that I was not the only sniveling goose around! I also learnt everything concerned with the concept of flying - how a flight takes off, cruises, lands, turbulence, various noises, safety measures, pilot certifications, civil aviation standards & some concepts of advanced aviation technology. Everything & everyone on the net were saying - "an aircraft is the safest way to get around".

But the most important lesson was given by a certain ex-pilot (I forget his name). His advice was to FACE THE FEAR and not run from it. Do exactly the things that you are most afraid of! For instance... I always used to take an aisle seat to avoid looking out. The captain’s advice was to do exactly the opposite - take the window seat. This advice has proved to be my most valuable asset ever since.

Armed with this research, I was to board the next evening flight. As luck would have it, the weather was bad - very windy & cloudy adding quite a bit to what was ranged against me. I boarded the flight and checked into a window seat. As the aircraft was taking off, I consciously (and with considerable effort & probably a blood pressure reading of 500/200) stared outside. The aircraft shuddered & as it banked left to take its flight path, it suddenly lost some height. A collective gasp went up from the passengers. Against a great urge to shut my eyes & start praying, I continued to look outside at the gray cloudy sky. The turbulence was temporary and the aircraft soon reached its cruising altitude. It was a smooth ride thereon. After a long time, I ate the meals served on board. I chatted with my fellow passenger, read a novel & listened to some music. As the aircraft was about to land, I played a small little game - connect all that I had learnt to the various aircraft noises that I could hear. It proved to be fun. By the time I alighted from the aircraft, I knew I had conquered it. In one single attempt! I was cursing myself for waiting three years to do this. All the fun that I missed....

Since then, I have looked forward to flying with great enthusiasm. I knew my victory was total when I enjoyed a Bangladesh Airlines flight on an aircraft which looked like it would fall apart any minute. In fact, the flight was delayed by two hours because it had lost one of its windshields! Flying now reminds me of one of my greatest victories.

However, in one of life's typical ironies, I changed my career soon and my hectic traveling days were over.

The experience did teach me one of life's greatest lessons – Don’t lose out on life & what it has to offer just because you are anxious or afraid. Fear & Anxiety can be overcome easily if you only "Face It". Do exactly the things that you are afraid of & you will realize what you are missing. I have tried to apply this lesson to life ever since...

As the saying goes “The safest place for a ship is the harbour, but it was not built to be there”. Put up the sails & god speed!

Living in Equilibrium

Most of us are usually in various stages of anxiety, stress, dissatisfaction or unhappiness. The result of this are behaviours like cribbing, hurting others or pessimism. If we try and identify the reason, it is this – we are constantly trying to reach a state of total satisfaction or happiness. We tell ourselves that we if reach this or that goal, we will become happy. But when we reach that goal, we realize that the bliss is still far away. Probably the answer to our quest lies in understanding the duality of the universe.

The Almighty has created counter balancing forces of day & night, fire & water, male & female, flowers & thorns, life & death, liquid & solid, matter & anti matter, joy & sorrow, good & bad, optimism & pessimism.. the list can go on. The counter balance or equilibrium between these dual forces is what keeps the universe going. Example.. imagine we were to remove the female species. We will soon cease to exist. Similarly if we have only days, then again we will perish. If there were no thorns, the flowers will perish. Similarly, if there was no sorrow, joy will cease to exist.

I believe that we fail to read what the almighty has always wanted to tell us – accept the duality of life. The "Symbol of Natraj" - a dual form of Shiva & Shakti symbolises this. Learn to live in equilibrium. Learn to balance. Don’t run from one to the other. Learn to be in the center. Every situation has two sides to it – some joy & some sorrow. If we look at every situation in our life, you will see this duality in existence. Our dissatisfaction is because we are ready to accept only one side. For instance.. Joy & not its counter balancing force.. sorrow. Therefore we tend to be unhappy or anxious.

I think the key lies in accepting that we if want joy, we will have to learn to accept sorrow with it. Learn to accept that there will never be hundred percent complete joy or complete sorrow. Every situation will bring both of it together.

Living in equilibrium is the best way to be. Probably, this realization will prepare our minds to deal with life and its duality and help us get on with it.