My latest article on 21st Century skills

THE TWIG THAT RULED THE RIVER!

THE TWIG THAT RULED THE RIVER!

It was a small tree growing on the banks of a flowing river.  The twig was happy to be born.  It got care & attention from the tree.  The tree gave shelter to many dwellers - birds, squirrels, insects & sometimes an odd assortment of animals.  Some of them paid attention to the little twig whereas some of them could hardly care.  The twig started growing up amidst the daily clamour of chirping birds, the sound of little squirrels running for food, the buzzing sound of bees looking for nectar, the softness of early morning dew & the warmth of the morning sun. It saw beauty everywhere - fresh leaves sprouting forth, buds turning into flowers, colourfully patterned butterflies coming out of cocoons, a wide variety of flowers romancing the bees.  The twig was happy being born in such a place.

It also thought itself important.  It grew buds, flowers & leaves which attracted everyone.  The tree nurtured it constantly & gave all it asked for.  All the tree dwellers & many outsiders paid attention and came calling every now & then. Some came for the nectar, some for the leaves and a few just for shelter. The twig returned the affection it got.  It would welcome every visitor, talk to them and provide them with whatever it is that they came for. 

It was however afraid of two things - the Wind & the River.  They always seemed to be on the move - never stopping for anyone or anything.  The wind was also unpredictable.  Sometimes it was soft & gentle.  Sometimes it was fierce & wild - threatening to take everything with it.   The twig tried to hide from it but never really could.  The river on the other hand was quite intriguing.  The twig couldn’t make out where it started & where it would end.  Just that it kept flowing & flowing.  It found this behaviour of the river quite odd & inspired fear.  It wanted to keep away from it.  It never wanted to leave its own little home.

The Wind finally did it!  It carried itself at great speed.  It tugged hard at the twig.  The twig desperately tried to cling on to its tree but the wind was too strong for it.  It wrenched the twig free and carried it away.  The twig tried to resist, turn back to where it thought it belonged but the wind just wouldn’t let go.  The twig flip flapped around but little avail.  As it was carried away from the tree, it felt intensely afraid, desolate, disconcerted, hopeless & lost.  To make matters worse, the wind finally deposited the twig in the River! 

The river immediately started carrying it away.  The twig realized that the River was wide & deep, far more formidable that what it had thought.  It was also extremely powerful.  As it moved, the twig was dashed against rocks, got caught in currents, was thrown up in twirls & was bounced up and down against the flowing stream.  Besides, there were other beings here – which the twig had never seen before.  Strange beings which were inside the river & somehow alive.  The twig lost all its hopes.  “How could I possibly survive against such strong forces? I have to give up!  I have to give up my dreams, my excitement, my looking forward to life.  I have to submit!  I have to submit to despair and hopelessness and wait for the inevitable to happen!” the twig thought.

The twig also intensely hated the Wind & the River.  “What did they have against me?  Why did they do this to me?  They are just evil monsters – destroying everything they touch. But what can I possibly do?  I am so small & weak and they are so strong!  Nature hasn’t given me anything to protect myself against them.  I am just at their mercy” the twig thought.  As it looked back, it couldn’t see its tree.  It was away forever. 

With this feeling of utter hopelessness and willingness to perish, the twig stopped resisting and submitted itself to the river.  The river gushed and roared and kept carrying the twig with it.  As the twig waited for its death, it looked below.  It could see the river bed far down below & suddenly realized that it was not sinking.  It seemed to have at least one thing going for it – it could float on the river!!  This brought a ray of hope for the twig.  “Maybe, just maybe, I could use this to my advantage against this river” it thought. 

The twig focused on this seeming strength.  It had to avoid getting dashed against rocks & thrown around.  So it started to move about a bit.  “As I act on my ability to move around, my direction seems to change accordingly” it realized.  Now instead of submitting itself, it began to sense its environment.  It saw a rock coming up, so it moved around a bit and was able to avoid the rock with ease.  The twig was elated.  “Wow, I am not so powerless after all” it thought.  This built its inner strength.  It became conscious of the momentum of the river, its various perils and learnt to move itself around them.  Soon, it had mastered the art of navigating the river.  “At least, I don’t have to perish” it told itself.

The twig was now comfortable in the river.  The river also seemed to have temporarily slowed down.  The twig decided to see beyond the river.  It seemed to have been too focused on it anyways.  It saw a huge canopy of trees, plants, shrubs and grass growing on the banks of the river.  It saw the same sight as far as it could see.  “How come they are so close to the river?  Don’t they know its dangers?” it wondered.  It decided to get closer to the banks and warn them. 

It soon reached close to a bank and was shocked to see the roots of the trees inside the river!  “The river has already started consuming them” it thought.  It called out to a big tree and said “Be careful of this river.  It is a dangerous one and can destroy you... so keep away”.  The Big tree smiled and said “But little one, I can’t do without the river!  And neither can the river do without me! So we have to stay close to each other”.  “How is that?” asked the astonished twig.  The Big Tree said “I get my food from the river.  The water that it carries feeds me and all the creatures dependent on me.  In turn, I help the river in many ways.  Why, you owe your own existence to the river!  Without the river, you would not have been born!”  The twig now realized why its own tree was close to the river.  It also realized that since the time it landed on the river, it had dealt with fear & hopelessness, learnt new things & had moved forward.  This brought back its sense of excitement and gave it inspiration to move forward.  So it navigated itself to the center of the river again.  It soon began enjoying the flow of the river.

As it was floating, it spotted a frog sitting on one of the rocks.  The twig moved closer and addressed the frog thus “Hi there.  I have never seen someone like you before.  What are you?  And what are you doing up there?” “I am a frog and alternately live on the land & in the river.  Right now I am taking in some fresh air.  The Wind is carrying it fresh today”. The twig shivered at the mention of the Wind.  “Don’t get too close to the Wind.  I am where I am because of the wind”.  The frog laughed out loud.  “Don’t be funny.  What we will do without the wind.  If there was no wind, what we will breathe, how will the birds & bees fly?  Even the trees need air to breathe.  Why, you owe your own existence to the Wind.  The air it brought helped in nourishing you.  So the wind is my friend”.  The twig was delighted to learn this.  It realized that everything that it had known – birds, bees, plants, animals, river & wind were all dependent on each other.  It began to see the whole, rather than the parts - the interconnectedness, the symbiotic relationships, the fact that it too was a part of the whole and not the whole itself.

The twig also understood that as it explored and acted, it gained new perspectives and had arrived at a new meaning to its existence.  Though its circumstances hadn’t changed, its perspective had.  It no longer thought about its tree – that was the past.  It was now thinking about its present - the river, the wind and the world surrounding it.  It had learnt to navigate this world & become comfortable with it. 

As the twig rejoined the flow, it wondered “I am comfortable now but where am I going?  What is my direction? I obviously can’t change the course of the river. So do I have to go where it is going? Can I decide where to go?”  It decided to visualize where it wanted to be.  As it focused on its future, the visual became vivid and clear – a space full of trees, birds, bees, romance, love and attention.  It wanted to be on a tree again!! This visualization filled it with great inspiration.  It wanted to make it happen!  Against the logic of the situation it was in, it felt that it can be done.  It had to find a way to go where it wanted to go! 

The twig reflected on its past. It thought about the way it had reached here.  The Wind, the River, the Big Tree, the Frog… wait… there came the answer.  But of course… the Wind!  It was so simple.  The twig just had to wait for a strong gust of wind to carry it back.  It had already learnt to navigate the River – probably it could navigate the wind as well.  It was filled with hope! Visualizing the future and a determination to achieve it had shown it the way.  Now hope will help achieve it.

As is the nature of the wind, it picked up speed.  On the surface of the river, the twig could feel it.  But the twig had layers of water over it and could not reach the Wind!  It waited for a stronger gust of Wind.  The Wind picked up speed but still the twig was where it was!  It was then the twig realized that it had to once again break free – raise itself up & meet the Wind!  Filled with renewed hope and determination, the twig made a massive attempt and raised itself up.  Lo & behold! It was soaring.  What’s more, the wind immediately dried it up, making it lighter. It was able to soar higher and better.  It had risen above layers of water which were its present to meet the speed of the Wind.  And it was now soaring towards its future.  It was a wonderful feeling!

Now it had to navigate the wind – the twig used the same technique as it had learnt in the River.  It found to its ultimate delight that it was able navigate the wind with comfort.   Using this to its advantage, it first soared high above.  It got a wonderful bird’s eye view of the landscape below - the flowing river & the forest surrounding it.  It could actually choose the area in the forest where it wanted to be in, right down to the tree. 

From high above, the twig also saw that the river ultimately met an ocean, a seemingly endless expanse of water.  The twig felt that it would have probably got lost in the ocean.  If it had not invested in its future and continued to focus on the River, it would have ended up in the Ocean. It thanked itself for acting in time. 

The twig felt highly empowered and powerful.  Constantly learning and acting had brought it to this stage.  It was now keen to get to its future – a Tree.   It choose a particularly big one and navigated to land on it.  As it landed, it felt tremendous exhilaration.  It had reached where it wanted to be.  It was now filled with excitement for the future, hope & a confidence in itself.  But it did not want to lie still on a branch – it wanted to be part of the whole again.  And just as it was thinking, a beautiful bird came along, picked up the twig and wove it into its nest.  Once again, the twig was close to all that it loved.  But more importantly, it was now filled with confidence that it if were to get uprooted again, it would know how to get back!

The twig had realized that the greatest miracle of life is life itself & the ability to live it fully!

THE AIRCRAFT THAT NEVER CRASHED

"We are cruising at 36000 Feet above sea level! The outside temperature is -40 degree centigrade... ". The captain was doing his regulatory announcement over the intercom. His voice sounded warm, reassuring & confident. In spite of this, I was perspiring, the mouth was dry, and anxiety had led to curled hands & feet. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink. The mind was alert to every slight shake, movement & noise. It flashed horrific memories of fireballs & people dying. Staring at the headrest of the front seat, I was constantly praying for it to get over. When the aircraft landed, I was already tired with the stress & anxiety. The relief at touching the ground came with the reminder that I had to return. The “fear of flying” was taking its toll.

I suffered from this fear for three dreadful years. As I look back now, those were the years I had to undertake maximum amount of air travel. I had to travel almost 15 to 20 days in a month which meant taking between 10 to 12 flight journeys. I was on a flight every third day. I was an entrepreneur running an upcoming business - which meant there was no way of avoiding these journeys - though sometimes it was done at great cost. The journey plan was made at the beginning of the month and the pangs of anxiety would start thereon.

Catching an early evening flight, I would reach the hotel tired & beat. The next couple of days would involve a 10 hour work schedule - conducting a study, training or audit at the dealership of our client. The fact that I would have to catch a flight to reach my next destination lent itself to great anxiety & stress. And then the repeat would occur - sitting on a flight! Life became a cycle of fear - anxiety - fear.



During these three years, I visited more than 27 different locations within & outside India. As a person who loves to explore different places & cuisines, I had a god sent opportunity. Unfortunately, I don’t remember exploring a single place. I used to be confined to work or the hotel room - trying to distract myself from the stress & anxiety.

Being a frequent flier, the airlines had awarded me a Platinum membership - I was frequently upgraded to Business class & had access to special privileges and lounges. Some of the flight crews knew me by my first name & used to go out of their way to make me feel comfortable (they probably could see it on my face). I also don’t remember enjoying any of this. The fear & anxiety was so overwhelming.

Most of my friends & family members were impressed with my travel schedule. They thought I had arrived in life - what with flying everywhere almost every third day. "You must be important if someone is spending so much money just to get you around" they would say. If only they knew...

I don’t know whether it was the fatigue or some hidden courage but one fine evening sitting in a semi dark hotel room, half watching a vague program on TV, I decided enough was enough & I had to end this fear. Suddenly there was great determination. But I was not sure how to proceed - the things to do to end "FEAR". The objective was "I want to enjoy flying!” But determination has a way of showing you the way (where there’s a will.... it actually is true).

I landed on Google & spent the next four hours on the subject "Fear of Flying". I learnt that there are millions of people around the world who suffered from this. It was comforting to know that I was not the only sniveling goose around! I also learnt everything concerned with the concept of flying - how a flight takes off, cruises, lands, turbulence, various noises, safety measures, pilot certifications, civil aviation standards & some concepts of advanced aviation technology. Everything & everyone on the net were saying - "an aircraft is the safest way to get around".

But the most important lesson was given by a certain ex-pilot (I forget his name). His advice was to FACE THE FEAR and not run from it. Do exactly the things that you are most afraid of! For instance... I always used to take an aisle seat to avoid looking out. The captain’s advice was to do exactly the opposite - take the window seat. This advice has proved to be my most valuable asset ever since.

Armed with this research, I was to board the next evening flight. As luck would have it, the weather was bad - very windy & cloudy adding quite a bit to what was ranged against me. I boarded the flight and checked into a window seat. As the aircraft was taking off, I consciously (and with considerable effort & probably a blood pressure reading of 500/200) stared outside. The aircraft shuddered & as it banked left to take its flight path, it suddenly lost some height. A collective gasp went up from the passengers. Against a great urge to shut my eyes & start praying, I continued to look outside at the gray cloudy sky. The turbulence was temporary and the aircraft soon reached its cruising altitude. It was a smooth ride thereon. After a long time, I ate the meals served on board. I chatted with my fellow passenger, read a novel & listened to some music. As the aircraft was about to land, I played a small little game - connect all that I had learnt to the various aircraft noises that I could hear. It proved to be fun. By the time I alighted from the aircraft, I knew I had conquered it. In one single attempt! I was cursing myself for waiting three years to do this. All the fun that I missed....

Since then, I have looked forward to flying with great enthusiasm. I knew my victory was total when I enjoyed a Bangladesh Airlines flight on an aircraft which looked like it would fall apart any minute. In fact, the flight was delayed by two hours because it had lost one of its windshields! Flying now reminds me of one of my greatest victories.

However, in one of life's typical ironies, I changed my career soon and my hectic traveling days were over.

The experience did teach me one of life's greatest lessons – Don’t lose out on life & what it has to offer just because you are anxious or afraid. Fear & Anxiety can be overcome easily if you only "Face It". Do exactly the things that you are afraid of & you will realize what you are missing. I have tried to apply this lesson to life ever since...

As the saying goes “The safest place for a ship is the harbour, but it was not built to be there”. Put up the sails & god speed!

Living in Equilibrium

Most of us are usually in various stages of anxiety, stress, dissatisfaction or unhappiness. The result of this are behaviours like cribbing, hurting others or pessimism. If we try and identify the reason, it is this – we are constantly trying to reach a state of total satisfaction or happiness. We tell ourselves that we if reach this or that goal, we will become happy. But when we reach that goal, we realize that the bliss is still far away. Probably the answer to our quest lies in understanding the duality of the universe.

The Almighty has created counter balancing forces of day & night, fire & water, male & female, flowers & thorns, life & death, liquid & solid, matter & anti matter, joy & sorrow, good & bad, optimism & pessimism.. the list can go on. The counter balance or equilibrium between these dual forces is what keeps the universe going. Example.. imagine we were to remove the female species. We will soon cease to exist. Similarly if we have only days, then again we will perish. If there were no thorns, the flowers will perish. Similarly, if there was no sorrow, joy will cease to exist.

I believe that we fail to read what the almighty has always wanted to tell us – accept the duality of life. The "Symbol of Natraj" - a dual form of Shiva & Shakti symbolises this. Learn to live in equilibrium. Learn to balance. Don’t run from one to the other. Learn to be in the center. Every situation has two sides to it – some joy & some sorrow. If we look at every situation in our life, you will see this duality in existence. Our dissatisfaction is because we are ready to accept only one side. For instance.. Joy & not its counter balancing force.. sorrow. Therefore we tend to be unhappy or anxious.

I think the key lies in accepting that we if want joy, we will have to learn to accept sorrow with it. Learn to accept that there will never be hundred percent complete joy or complete sorrow. Every situation will bring both of it together.

Living in equilibrium is the best way to be. Probably, this realization will prepare our minds to deal with life and its duality and help us get on with it.